


The Easiest Thing

by onewingedbird



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-11
Updated: 2014-09-11
Packaged: 2018-02-17 01:12:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2291486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onewingedbird/pseuds/onewingedbird
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Liam's thought process while he's debating telling Zayn how he feels or not.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Easiest Thing

  1.    Ask yourself if it’s worth saying, if you could even bear keeping it quiet.
  2.    Know that if you do tell him everything will change and there’s no promise that it’ll be for the better.
  3.    Bring him someplace quiet, away from the other boys, and just… tell him.



 

Liam stares at the list and underlines “tell him” until the lines run together. It should be easy. Just go up to him and say it. It should be easier than anything else he’s done. It wasn’t _easy_ to go back on the X-Factor and risk Simon telling him no again. He’s not sure if he’d have been able to go home, practice and try again after a second rejection. It isn’t easy to read some of the things people say about him or the other lads. It’s not been easy watching Zayn light up when he’s around Perrie like he used to only for Liam. It’s been the most difficult thing he’s ever had to go through that didn’t involve a hospital room.

So, it should be simple. Go up to him; tell him. He’s already made the decision that he has to say something now because there won’t be any other time. The wedding that is not going to happen just might because both Zayn and Perrie are being pressured to set a date by their PR representatives. He’s heard Zayn telling Louis about it when everyone else has gone to bed but Liam is still up, thinking. It’s not that their entire relationship is a fake. Zayn saw something in Perrie that he was drawn to and she in him but in this business, things get so complicated and then it’s not just about the two of you anymore. It’s about how the fans are reacting to it, how the press has started to think that the entire thing is a farce because they’ve yet to set a date and how if their relationship _is_ fake, people start questioning if the boys are just caricatures of themselves controlled by management. Simon told Zayn it’s not too bad yet but where there were 5 or 10 comments doubting their relationship for every article, now there are 70 and the number keeps rising. It doesn’t help that none of the boys seem too happy for him.

That’s not any of their faults though. It’s Liam’s for being so scared of his feelings and what people might say that he ruined everything and broke Zayn’s heart. It was after Zayn told that rag that they’d kissed. Liam was suddenly aware of what it would mean for them if he were to pursue something with Zayn that he wasn’t even sure of. He’s not even gay. It’s just… Z. He’s never met anyone like him. No one is more thoughtful or kind or talented who looks at him the way Zayn does and something in that look makes Liam believe in God and all the angels. It’s pathetic but true. And it should have stopped Liam from laughing off that line and saying that they were only messing about and it wouldn’t ever happen again and the thing he’s most worried about is how Danielle will react because they’ve been talking more (they hadn’t yet) and he thinks they can make it work (they can’t).

Harry tried to stay impartial but Liam found him glaring at him absently over those next few weeks that Zayn pretended everything was okay and Louis was cold to him without doing anything specific Liam could put his finger on and address. That was Louis’ way apart from the cutting remarks he could throw your way with an eyeroll mid-interview, of course. He could do everything the same but leech all the warmth out of his affection. Liam could’ve asked what had changed but he already knew because Zayn and he weren’t sharing hotel rooms anymore and Louis was doing his best to fill the Liam-sized shape in Zayn’s life: praising his art, being a silent presence when Zayn just wants to think and be alone without being alone and cuddling up to him every chance he could get. Zayn’s normal but withdrawn as well; he’s not as good of an actor and suddenly, it’s the other way round. Liam is staring at Zayn who’s goofing off with Harry. Liam is staring at Zayn who won’t meet his eyes. Liam is staring at Zayn who doesn’t talk to him about missing home and the girls like he used to.

And then Zayn found someone else to talk to and Liam would hate her if she wasn’t so lovely and easygoing, so damn understanding that even a cheating scandal is not much of a scandal with her because she’s a musician as well and understands the lure of an adoring fan. She’s great but she’s not Liam and she could never understand him like Liam does… he hopes. Because if she can, then, he’s sat down writing this list working up the courage to do something that will cause a lot of unnecessary drama without giving Zayn any happier of an ending. Risking everything on a maybe.

Time is running out, though, and it’s all good and well to fantasize about interrupting wedding ceremonies but Liam knows Zayn and Zayn could never do that. He could never humiliate someone in front of everyone they love or break anyone’s heart in such a vicious manner. Zayn is too kind, too considerate to make that kind of retreat even if it was everything he’d ever wanted which Liam is hoping, but not sure, it is.

So. TELL HIM.

Just walk up to him and say it.

“I love you. I miss you. I want to try this thing because even a day being with you is better than a year with anyone else.”

Say it.


End file.
